… But you’re not one of us

A lot of people think that being a white female means that I don’t experience the same social issues a person of color, or a trans person, or a bisexual experiences.

And they’re right.  I don’t.  But because I’m aware of that, I work really hard to understand everything that is going on. I actually read the posts on my news feed.  I pay attention to the fact that almost all of my friends identify as something that is considered a minority and isn’t represented in media how it should be.  I don’t always share stuff on Facebook because, while a Facebook post can do a lot, I would rather take the knowledge I have and do something with it: educate the people that I know don’t understand or participate in a rally, etc.  I would rather engage in constructive conversations with people experiencing these things.  I want to be able to ask questions just like people ask of me.  I may be white, but I am poor and I am a female.  So I’m not at the top of the food chain.  Yet, I also know that I’m not considered to be at the bottom.

But it seems that no matter what some one does: how hard they try to support and educate themselves and others; how hard we work to make a change… nothing is quite enough.  Because ultimately… I am not one of them.  Too many conversations I have seen and heard end with that.  “You don’t understand because you aren’t one of us”.

No. I’m not.  But instead of shutting me down, instead of shutting anyone down that’s different than you maybe a take a second and understand that that is the same reason why we have these issues in the first place…?

Food for thought.

Why I don’t feel Beautiful (with Niki Demar)

This is in response to Niki Demar.  A you tuber and beauty vlogger.  I watch she and her sister, Gabi, and follow them on social media.  These are girls around my age who I look up to because they are doing so much.  Niki posted a video a while back titled “Why I don’t feel Beautiful”.  And I’ve been trying to decide how to respond to it because she says a lot (link below).  But also because I feel like not enough people are addressing the issue of self love… lets see how this goes.

80%-90% of the time I do not feel beautiful.  Slowly this is changing from the reflection on what media defines as beautiful to what my own self-standards are.  Niki says that “The concept of beauty has changed so much.  And it’s so easy for some one in 2015 not to feel beautiful”.  It is so fucking sad to know how true that is.  It’s more than our definition of beauty being this ever changing thing.  It’s that so many people, men and women alike, do not believe they are beautiful.  Niki is correct when she talks about how, despite doing so much, it becomes very hard to focus on all of the positive things when there is that cloud of self love being very difficult.

“This topic is very messy”.  OH MY GOSH.  I could dedicate an entire blog to beauty and self love issues and eating issues.  Because we deserve to talk about it. But for now lets just say that: this topic is very messy.  It’s not easy to talk about or address.  Most people don’t even acknowledge it.

As I’ve been getting older I’ve found that while I’m still influenced by media, a lot of my issues are just that I don’t look the way I want to look.  So when some one compliments me I often don’t believe them.  A big portion of my life I was made fun of.  I was a joke because people didn’t think it was pretty. That’s hard to get out of.  So when some one says something nice there is still part of me that thinks it’s about to be turned into a joke.  So I work out and I stress over my skin.  Acne.  Ugh. I’ll save that vent.  My muscles are too big or not big enough and holy crap!

The point is we are all struggling.  Even the people who think are beautiful and put together (I thought Niki was) are struggling.  Don’t be afraid to ask for support.  Even if that means venting to some one for a few minutes.  Do it.  Support each other.  We’ve all got something.

Red Starbucks Cup <3

By now we’ve heard that there is…. apparently… an issue with the new ombre red Starbucks holiday cups. If you’re like me, you pretended not to notice or care until enough articles were strewn all over your Facebook page and you had to open one and figure out what was going on.

Now that I have, and I don’t mean to be offensive or rude but….

There are people dying!  People are fucking dying all around us.  There is a houseless epidemic and it’s nearing winter.  People are starving.  People are fucking dying and we are sitting around debating a fucking holiday cup!  Are you out of your fucking minds!?

It’s a goddam cup!  Yes I got Starbucks within two days of the cup coming out because it’s pretty and I wanted to treat myself to coffee I can’t really afford and sugar I shouldn’t be having.  But it’s just a cup.  For many people it marks the start (though early I know but that’s a separate debate) of the winter season/holidays.  Big woop!

Get off your high horse and look around you!  There are bigger things going on then a cup.  Those are things we should be worried about.