Melancholy at the close of the Semester

This has happened before.  Normally I ignore it.  I’m going back in two weeks.  But this time it’s different.  This is the end of the last Fall Semester I’ll have at college.


I’ve been trying to figure it out and just keep going but it’s literally like a weight.  I’m not ready to leave.  Sure I’ve got a few more months but I’m just not ready to go yet.  There is this confusion of being so excited and so ready, but at the same time it’s fucking terrifying.  Not just because the future is uncertain and all that BS but because I will never be as old as I am now.  This is it.  Time passes way too quickly and that is becoming scary apparent lately.

Holiday Competition

I am one of the most competitive people you’ll meet.  That’s not to say that I make everything a competition (they are different).  But if we are playing a board game, for example, I will be a sore loser.

But the other day, I found a competitive spirit in the weirdest place: holiday decorating.

For the past three years I have turned my dorm room into a winder wonderland.  This year everything was amped up. Blue icicle lights on the window, colored lights strung across the closets, garland around the door, white lights strung on the ceiling with snowflakes hanging, etc. (Because yes there was more.)  And I was so happy with it!  Until I saw a bow on my friends door.  A fucking bow.

I get back from Thanksgiving break and I’m walking down the hall and I see a red bow on some ones door. My first thought was “How did I not think to decorate the front of the door? Oh it’s on….” and I immediately started plotting how to make my door look cuter.

Wait what? Did I just get competitive over a fucking bow? A single red Christmas bow on some ones door. I’ve seen inside. It’s not decorated inside except for a single ornament wreath. And yet, that bow….