Post Grad Impatience

I originally intended to call this “post-grad struggle” because duh, it is.  But I also realized that a lot of that struggle is because everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, puts pressure on you to DO something.  Get a job, figure your shit out, get a fucking job.

It’s not that easy.

So while I would normally be okay (ish) with having had to move back home for a little while, anywhere I turn I’m supposed to have my shit figured out.  People younger than me have their stuff figured out!

That’s something no one tells you.  The assumption is that you’ll graduate college and be successful (job and money).  But you rarely hear about the graduate who spent a summer home after college confused and stressed to the core.  The ones that go home seem to get stuck at home and later on become the cliche of “still living in parents basement” while everyone else is successful.

It’s okay to be somewhere in the middle.  We should start embracing that a little more.

Why you feel invisible to the graduates

It’s going to become a stronger and more apparent feeling so let me break this down because I have experienced your position before and I’m in the graduate position now.

Come May, the class of 2016 will be graduating.

Come May, anyone not graduating will be watching their close friends walk across the stage.  And those graduates will be more focused on leaving each other than leaving you.

But here’s why. And I had this realization only recently…. but all of you will still be here at college.  We know you’ll be here and what your schedule is going to be like and how to get in touch with you.  We know that we can come back and find you here and there is comfort in that.  It’s not that we won’t miss you.  We don’t know where anyone else will be or if we’ll get to see each other again.  Yes that fear is there for you too, but there’s a security in knowing that you will still be at our alma mater.

Is that making sense?

The other thing you have to realize is that while we are stressing over everything we have to do and try to be, you are all making plans that we will not get to be a part of.  Ever.  And that starts earlier than the graduation hype starts.

My friends and I have a rule, as I have mentioned, that we don’t talk about graduation. So while we all know it’s there and we are trying to make the most of out of every day, it is everyone else that is making plans without us, as if we are already gone.

And this shit hurts too.  Only we start feeling that at the start of the second semester.  Graduation stuff doesn’t start until finals in May.  So stop and think about that for a second.  While you are coping with us leaving and already getting excited for the next year, we are passing our torches onto you and watching you begin to forget about us already.

At least… that’s how it feels.

We work really really hard to embrace college because mid-way through senior year we start to feel it slipping out of fingers and we get the images of what life is going to be like afterwards.  You can pretend to know what the feels like, but when it comes down to it the other seniors are the only ones who truly get it.  So when people make plans and don’t follow through, we get stressed because we are running out of time.  And it’s fucking scary.

Try to push away your anxiety about us leaving the same way we are pushing away ours and lets just fucking enjoy these last few months together.

I can’t follow my favorite shows

We’ve all been there.  Some of us only allow ourselves to get a week behind (if that) but some of us… Fuuuuuuck.  All of a sudden we’re too late to even catch episodes online and we have to wait and wait and WAIT for Netflix to put up the season we missed.  Then we binge and manage to watch the first two episodes or so of the new season before the exact same thing happens again.

This is me right now with three of my FAVORITE television shows:

The Walking Dead


The Flash


And these shows are everywhere!  I can’t escape them!  Oh the guilt!

And it’s a battle.  Part of me is thinking “yeah! I’m doing shit and I’m too busy to watch television!  Go me!”

But the other side of me is weeping with regret.


Movie Review: The Boy

Spoiler Alert!
If you want the explanation of things scroll down, otherwise enjoy a brief synopsis 🙂

This is hands down one of the best horror movies I’ve seen in a while. I went in thinking it was going to be like a modern-day Chucky.

It was so much worse.

First off this movie has a good amount of tense moments. You aren’t sitting there the entire time with your fists clenched and then nothing. Rather there was a decent amount of suspense with a sigh of relief. There was a party bag full of jump scares (that are the most fun thing ever!). And instead of leaving you terrified to even move out of your seat (Looking at you Conjuring) you were left analyzing it and discussing it the entire fucking walk home.

So here’s the premise: A girl with a dark (ish) past moves to the UK to escape her psycho, abusive boyfriend Cole. We don’t learn that till later but whatever. She is hired as a Nanny for a fucking doll and given a list of instructions on how to take care of him. Then weird shit happens. Her shoes disappear (but it’s a doll, right?), clothes disappear, etc etc etc etc. There’s this grocer guy who is the same age as the “real son” who supposedly died like 20 something years ago. So the whole time you’re thinking “Omg this is the son. WTF”
No! You’re wrong!

I don’t want to give the whole thing away (lol too late) but i doubt anyone in that fucking theatre had the correct theory.

Cole finds her and decides she’s returning to the U.S. with him and stays the night. At this point it has been decided that the doll is possessed by the spirit of the boy. So Gretta, the nanny, falls asleep next to Brahms (the doll) telling him to protect her. She wakes up to Cole freaking the fuck out. He smashes the doll and there’s that moment of “Oh shit! He just released the spirit!”
The real fucking kid comes out of the fucking wall! Creepy as mask and all! Brahms has been alive the entire fucking time! What the actual fuck?!

Okay so here’s what’s up. When Brahms was 8 years old he killed a neighborhood girl. Or so that’s suspected. That same night the house (which is mostly stone btw and old as hell) catches fire and Brahms dies. Excuse me, Brahms “dies”. It turns out the parents faked his death to protect him and started taking care of this doll as a sign of mourning for their son. Meanwhile Brahms has been living in the house, moving around through the walls for like 2 fucking decades! What is that shit! The parents write to him, letting him know they are going to kill themselves and do whatever he wants with the nanny. Insert chaos ending scene. Voila! That is some fucked up shit!
Now go see it.

Those petty little peeves

Okay the title sounded better in my head but I’m keeping it.

Pet Peeves is the subject of today!

I discovered a new one!  Yay?  yeah sure yay…. yay!  I discovered a new fucking pet peeve.

The other day I was planning a surprise for some of my friends and they kept asking me “What is it? What’s going on?” One person though wouldn’t let up.  She continually asked me, texted me, etc.  It got past the point of teasing to me being down right annoyed.  Why did she deserve to know over everyone else?  So the pet peeve… when some one thinks they have the right to something (like a surprise secret) just because it’s them.  Like they are better than all the other people asking.  If you were better you’d already fucking know. Duh!

But there are a few other peevish little things I can’t stand. Does anyone have just one?

The competition that is sometimes created during stressful situations. During finals or tech week, for example, there is always that ONE FUCKING PERSON that thinks they have it So much worse than everyone else. We are all suffering, you are not worse off. Get over yourself.
Freaking out over every test or assignment and doing exceptionally well every single time.
Pretending you’re too cool for something. It’s one thing to just not be interested in an activity or event but those assholes that stand there and judge and laugh at the people trying to enjoy themselves just because they are too self conscious to try it. No one is actually paying that much attention to you. Cut that shit out.

I could go on but those are the big ones (and the only ones I could think of right now haha) I’d love to know if y’all share those pet peeves with me of if you have your own. Vent about it! 🙂 aha

The Graduation Countdown

We have a rule amongst my friend group.  Graduation doesn’t exist.  Not yet.  Anytime anyone (but especially my roommate or I) makes the mistake of addressing it the response is, “No! Shut up! Not yet!”

We have even set a rule: we don’t talk about it or allow ourselves be sad about it except for one or two designated times until late April.  Then and only then are we’re allowed to freak out.

We can’t talk about it because it’s too real and it hurts too much.

I don’t want to face that fact that I won’t return to the first place that I really felt like I belonged.  I don’t want to accept the fact that I won’t be getting into shenanigans with all of my friends that have yet to graduate.  And I can’t stand that fact of not living with my roommate.  She was out of town for a few days and it was way too hard, but an undesignated period of time not seeing each other?!  It doesn’t exist.  Not yet.

But all of sudden all of that shit is being shoved in my face and I don’t know what to do with it.  I’ve been reminded to live in the moment and hold onto every second.  At the same time I’m supposed to look at the future and plan and grasp all of that too.  I can’t do both!  I only have two fucking hands!  And… I’m not ready to leave!  *sigh Holy Shit…

The future is too real my friends.

Grease Live!

So… it didn’t totally suck!  Fuck yeah!

Grease is one of my favorite musicals.  Ever.  I could give a shit about some of the messages it sends because I grew up with it and I’ve performed in it and I just fucking love it.  So set that bullshit aside.  We’re talking about the Grease Live performance from Last Night!

Basically, they didn’t butcher it.  Was it perfect?  Hell no!  But it was damn fun to watch!

Here’s a quick breakdow

aaron tveit

Keke Palmer set the bar high

(That quick change though)




Jordan Fischer met that bar and made every theatre geek cry with joy when he sang this:


They added an unnecessary song before the Teen Angel song.  And I adore Carly Rae Jepson but no.  I left the room I got so bored.  Meanwhile Boys II Men did what they do.  It was great but maybe not in Grease fashion.

Speaking of not in Grease fashion…

joe jonas grease live

Pretty sure mohawks weren’t quite in style in 1959….

Can we talk about Julianne Hough, who while very talented, wasn’t original at all.  Oh, except for that part where they made Sandy way too coordinated and she got her own cheerleading stunt to show of Hough’s dance moves.  She’s not shy in front of the whole school, but gets shy in front of the camera at the dance and is so insecure she runs away when Cha Cha shows up….? That doesn’t make sense.

Lastly, lets take a quick second to commend Vanessa Hudgens.  While I don’t think she made the best Rizzo she did a bomb job and you have to give her extra props for performing under such conditions.  You go girl!

Overall, not bad.  They maybe tried too hard with getting such a star studded cast, but in the way of TV musicals this one has been the best.  Jessie J’s performance of “Grease is the Word” was my theme song this Monday. So fuck yeah!

Podcast: Technology and Horror Films

The first segment of many that discusses the use of technology and horror films. This one talks about “A Nightmare on Elm Street”, “The Conjuring”, “Unfriended”, and “The Blair Witch Project.”


“The Conjuring.” Wikipedia the Free Encyclopedia. 4 Mar. 2014. Web. 20 Jan. 2016. <;.

“A Nightmare on Elm Street.” Wikipedia the Free Encyclopedia. 24 Jan. 2016. Web. 20 Jan. 2016. <;.

Balir Witch Project. Web. 20 Jan. 2016. <;.

“The Blair Witch Project.” Balir Witch Project. Wikipedia the Free Encyclopedia. Web. 20 Jan. 2016. <;.

“Unfriended.” Wikipedia the Free Enclyopedia. Web. 20 Jan, 2016.

Frances, Laura. “The Conjuring Movie Review.” Screen Cave. 18 July 2013. Web. 20 Jan. 2016. <;.

Wilson, Karina. “Nine…Ten…Never Sleep Again: Nightmare on Elm Street.” Horror Film History. Web. 20 Jan. 2016. <;.

Female techies: where are you?

A podcast discussing and speculating the lack of female technicians in theatre and film.

Follows, Stephen. “What Percentage of a Film Crew Is Female?” Film Data and Education. Stephen Follows, 22 July 2014. Web. 15 Jan. 2016. <;.

Cohen, Patricia. “Rethinking Gender Bias in Theatre.” New York Time-Theatre. New York Times, 23 June 2009. Web. 18 Jan. 2016. <;.

Cabanas, Alice. “A Look Behind the Scenes.” Arts Professional, 8 Aug. 2013. Web. 18 Jan. 2016. <;.

Gaffney, Jesse. “Women in the Scene Shop.” Theatre Projects. Theatre Projects Blogspot, 30 Dec. 2009. Web. 18 Jan. 2016. <;.

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